


soul mate ˈsōl ˌmāt/ noun noun: soulmate a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.

by Kealpos



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Christine is a..... lesbian, F/F, Reincarnation, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-20 21:39:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11929803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kealpos/pseuds/Kealpos
Summary: Christine Canigula can see who everybody's soulmates are except her own, and she's resigned herself to a life of pure solitude besides friends. It's lonely, until it isn't.





	soul mate ˈsōl ˌmāt/ noun noun: soulmate a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.

Christine first learned the stories at age 7. She didn’t fully comprehend them and figure out how they applied in her own life until age 11. It was... Frightening, to say the least.

 

The stories were something known by every living person, taught from passed tellings and broken memories piling up on one another, knew.

Years ago, every two people were one being, with 8 limbs and 2 heads, but the gods became so frightened of the power these beings might have, and split them apart with blasts of lightning, dooming them as separate beings, searching for their other half. And, to add insult to injury, the gods made sure every being would reincarnate when they died, forever searching for their love.

 

Along the passing times, the curse grew to include platonic soulmates, though they might have always been platonic, slowly developing into something else. Some speculated that once you and your soulmate spent enough years together over each reincarnation, you would come together as the being you two once were, taken to a beautiful palace made by the gods to live eternity in bliss, never being pulled apart again.

 

These reincarnations often had small glimpses of the lives they had lived, never being able to get a specific type of memory. Sometimes, it would be a glimpse of your soulmate, allowing a clearer mind path of the soul you were looking for. Sometimes, it was death, and misery. At your hands or you dying, it didn’t matter.

 

Now, Christine.

 

There were those who had nearly perfect memory of everything, and had the “sight” because it was often believed that those who were like this were the first of the creatures and direct descendants of the gods.

They could see the colors and shapes of the souls of every person, seeing all colors to ever exist, even past the normal human spectrum, and could easily pinpoint couples. They were usually kind and great matchmakers. 

Their memory was impeccable, easily recalling everything from their past lives except for things directly involving them in romance, including all memories of… soulmates.

 

They couldn’t remember their soulmate, and they couldn’t see the shape or color of their soul. They were cut off from those few parts. It was agony for them.

 

There were said to be only 16 of these people throughout the whole world, and they could be anyone. Your best friend, your grandmother, the boy you bumped into in the hall. For them, only way to recover full memories was to find your soulmate, but when you couldn't place them correctly, it was nearly impossible.

 

Christine was 11 years old when she realized she was one of these 16 people. She was 14 when she quietly resigned herself to a life of romantic solitude, and instead threw herself into her acting characters and working for the newspaper as the anonymous writer with the sight. She could at least help a few people.

 

Sometimes people wrote in for help with her, like someone named “Jeremy Heere” saying they had had a crush on one Christine Canigula since 7th grade, and Christine would cringe slightly, before moving on.

 

It was… lonely, living like this. But she made sure it didn’t get her down. She wasn’t that kind of person.

 

Jeremy Heere wasn’t a name that she heard maybe once or twice and moved on, no, nothing like that. He signed up for the play, and she acted normally with him, as normally as she could, but something eventually changed with him, which caused her shift of interest in Jake become a focus, sure that he had moved on, and he was dating Brooke now.

 

Of course, Jake turned out to be an asshole. He wasn’t her soulmate anyways, she was pretty sure it was Rich or something. Still hurt when he went and fucked Chloe, and when she knew she had to dump him. But then, Jeremy!!! Maybe he could cheer her up! Not like she wasn’t so resigned to this type of shit, but she had actually pursued Jaked, so.

But, Jeremy didn't help shit. One minute they were laughing at Rich Goranski, shouting about Mountain Dew, and then…

 

“Say whatever’s on your mind.”

 

Jeremy looked down at her for a moment, thinking, until he opened his mouth and made a weird noise, like Christine had when they first officially met.

She looked at him, Jeremy’s face growing red until Christine made a weird noise back, causing Jeremy to sigh in relief.

 

A totally different weird noise from Jeremy, a brand spanking new weird noise from Christine, and Jeremy was about to continue when the monster, who they had previously assumed to be passed out, made a loud weird noise, causing the two to slightly yell, and then laugh, falling into relaxation.

 

“You know, it’s kinda killer to sit and chat with you,” Christine said, looking over at Jeremy with a smile. This was a friendship she always wanted, even though it had begun so recently.

 

“Really?”

“It’s true! It’s pretty killer to sit and chat with you!”

“Well, it’s pretty killer for me too.”

The two laughed, almost cheered, both saying something along the lines of ‘that they were glad that they both agree,’ and then Jeremy stood up, with an air of confidence that confused Christine and a delighted smile on Jeremy’s face.

He held a hand to her, as if to help her up, but before she could grab it, he asked “Christine, Christine… Christine, will you go out with me?”

Christine’s face crumpled, and Jeremy cocked a confused eyebrow as she stood up without grabbing his hand, him slowly dropping it. 

 

“Jeremy, I… can’t…”

“I thought we were friends-”

“We are. But… I don’t think I should go out with anyone until I know who  _ I _ am. I know that’s not what you wanted to… I’m sorry.”

 

And then, Christine ran out, the sound of Rich imitating a crashing explosion as she exited growing quiet until she walked outside and she closed the door, sitting on the lawn. Much quieter out here.

 

Goddamn. A friendship she truly enjoyed, ruined by her own fucking curse. She really did like Jeremy, who wouldn’t, honestly, but only as a friend, more or less. Great.

She felt tears begin to leak out, turning into quiet sobs, all pent up loneliness coming out at once, though once she calmed down, she could still hear sobbing, prompting her to look around to see a newly arrived Brooke, crying her eyes out against the tree in the front yard.

 

Christine swallowed her sadness, and tentatively called out to her, “H- hey, are, are you okay?”

 

Brooke looked up from her curled up, eyes red, and she laughed, her voice wavy with broken heartedness, replying, “No. Besides, you were crying when I got out here, so I could say the same.”

The girl’s smile held up for two seconds before she turned back into her sad frown, lips quivering, as if she was thinking about it, and promptly bursting back into tears.

 

Christine frowned, scooting over, her back to the tree as she heard Brooke’s sobs turn into sad choking, into sniffles, into silence, and then, a sigh, and the girl looking up, repositioning herself to mirror Christine, wiping her face with her costume arm. Sexy dog. Creative. Nice.

 

“So, why did you cry?” Brooke asked quietly, looking off into space.

“Jeremy Heere,” Christine replied with only have the story, sighing.

 

The Blonde turned her head so quick, Christine was sure one of them had whiplash, saying “Holy shit, me too,” in a stage whisper.

“He cheated on me, the asshole. With my  _ best friend! _ And he fucking knows that’s how my last relationship ended, sans the best friend part,” Brooke continued, pulling her legs up to her chest and laying her head on her knees, looking back ahead of her.

 

“Wow. That’s a..  _ Really _ dickish move. He asked to go out with me and a lot of stuff bubbled up.”

When Christine looked over, the girl looked even more distressed and angry.

 

“He cheated on me  _ and _ asked you on a date, all in the same night? God, me and him, one of us must be pretty fucking pathetic. Probably me, so unlovable, I guess, that my now ex almost sleeps with someone and hits on someone, while dating me, and just minutes after him breaking my heart.”

 

Christine looked down at the ground with a sad look on her face.

“I don’t think you’re pathetic, he’s the asshole here. I rejected him, anyways, so he’s lost a couple of girls in his chances tonight.”

 

“Why’d you reject him?”

“Well… I’ve never had a lot of friends in my life, and for once, someone seemed to genuinely enjoy my presence in a way that wasn’t… wanted dumb high school hookups or ‘friends with benefits’ without the friends part. And I was happy! We really got- get- I dunno, but we understood each other, I guess. But then I found out he just wanted to date me. It stung, I gotta admit.”

 

Brooke made a murmuring noise, before saying so quietly that Christine barely caught it, “It’s not like me and him were soulmates, anyways. I should’ve broke it off the first time I fucking kissed him.”

 

“Wh- But, your soulmate thing glows when you genuinely say I love you for the first time, the only people who know on the first kiss are.. seers…”

Christine’s voice trailed off as realization hit her, turning to look at Brooke, who refused to meet her eye.

 

“I- I, uh- I have the, the sight too!” Christine stuttered out, Brooke gasping a little and looking at her with a :O face, lighting up.

“You do!? Holy shit! Okay, okay, something that’s obviously the most important: what color is my soul?”

 

Christine made a face of concentration, trying desperately to get an accurate color but..

“The rumors are true, I can’t pinpoint what color you soul is. It keeps changing,” Christine said, Brooke’s facing falling, a mumbled “Yours too,” slipping out. 

 

The thing with seers souls is that to confuse other seers, all of them shift colors, only becoming the true color once soulmates kiss, though it was often only believed to be a rumor.

 

“Sh- should we kiss?” Brooke asked, hesitantly.

“I’m not attracted to girls,” Christine replied, and Brooke nodded, her face saying ‘Good. Neither am I.’

 

The two girls sat in silence before Christine’s phone buzzed to indicate curfew in half an hour, prompting her to huff and stand up, offering a hand to Brooke.

“I gotta head home. First, let’s exchange contact information, and second, do you want a ride home?”

 

Brooke nodded, rattling her number off as Christine typed, then following behind her to the car, looking as if she was truly the dog from her costume, her tail practically between her legs.

 

Christine dropped Brooke off at her really big house, and then made way for her own, breathing deeply with the windows down.

 

* * *

 

It was after the play, and honestly, the Squip made a lot of Jeremy’s action a little more justifiable, once he told her the full story of everything that had happened. They sat and talked on the edge of the stage, a comfort spot, Christine thinking about everything, taking his story in. 

 

Christine could remember her Squip, a Hillary Clinton look-alike, whispering to her that she wouldn’t have to worry about soulmates ever again, telling her secrets that she kept locked up from even herself, egging Christine on to tell Jeremy that she loved him, him stuttering out a “I love you too,” in reply, her Squip simulating a glow like for soulmates, Jeremy’s doing the same, but something in her eyes, the only part left at that point that was truly her, must've told him that it was a fake glow.

And so, he gave her the Mountain Dew Red.

 

She told him about Brooke, and he promised to talk to her about it next, and then.. Asked Christine on a date. And though the words of her Squip gnawed at her, she agreed.

 

They dated for about two weeks until Christine burst out that she was a Seer, and also, a… Lesbian. She had had so much time to think about the second part, something her Squip first brought up, offhandedly.

 

_ “You can’t deal with yourself. Seer, repressed lesbian, so very lonely.” _

_ “...Lesbian?” _

_ “Yes. I calculate that there is a ninety-four percent chance of you being truly attracted to solely the same gender. I’ve done the math, and the extremely small amount of men you’ve had “crushes” on are forced. It’s something to think about, Christine. Another thing to think about. Another scary, burdening thought. Just listen to me, do as I say, and everything will be alright.” _

_ “....Yeah. Okay. Let’s do this” _

 

And then, she thought about it and.. It was right. She hated to admit it, but she felt scared, and listening to the Tic-tac was nice, but finding and admitting the truth to herself felt better, like a breath of fresh air.

 

Jeremy didn’t judge, just quietly said it was okay, and even quieter, asked if she knew who his soulmate was. She said “Michael,” in the same volume as him, and the corners of his mouth seemed to twitch up almost.

 

He wished her good luck, and she said she was still his friend, even after the whole mess. And he smiled at her, and she didn't feel like it was something simmering with a crush anymore, which almost made Christine cry happy tears.

 

* * *

 

Christine kissed many pretty girls after the subsequent break up, and Jeremy and Michael got together, Jeremy giving a small wink to Christine the day afterwards. The two boys had said “I love you” to one another so many times, but they finally both said it with romantic intent.

 

The pretty girls were usually straight girls too drunk to care, but for Christine, it was….exhilarating, and the first time she had ever felt comfortable kissing people, she realized, thinking back on kisses with boys. However, she made sure not to kiss anyone she knew, and played off these occurrences to everyone (but Jeremy) that it was just drunk fun, even though she barely ever drank. Everyone failed to notice, thankfully.

 

Then of course, Chloe decided she'd hold a small get together at her house, with only the “Squip Squad” where they watched shitty movies, and Christine ended up with black and white nails.

 

And then, Rich suggested Spin the Bottle, which made Christine flush because of the prospect of.. kissing friends.. but, she didn't object.

 

Michael and Jeremy talked about whether or not they'd join, being in a relationship already, but they eventually agreed, meaning everyone would join in. Jeremy and Jenna kissed, Jenna promptly opting out because “Nope, I'm more aroace than I thought.”

 

Jake and Chloe, Michael and Jake, Rich and Brooke, (eep!) Michael and herself, Christine, Jeremy and Rich, Chloe and Brooke, and…

 

Christine spun the empty liquor bottle they had been using around on the floor, still flushed from having to kiss Michael, the boy not doing so hot either (“My attraction to only guys: Reaffirmed.”).

 

The bottle turned and turned, landing on…

 

“Brooke!” Jake called out, both girls looking at the bottle in unneeded shock. Brooke looked up at Christine and shrugged, smiling sheepishly.

 

The two girls scooted into the middle of the circle, and… kissed. Simple as that. Except, both girls immediately got all the romantic sections of their past lives, and there was quiet gasping from the group that their soulmate glowing had started.

 

The two girls kept locked like that for maybe 5 seconds before scrambling apart, faces red. 

 

“Is that gonna be a problem? Aren't you straight, Chrissy?” 

Christine mumbled that she was a lesbian, and she could feel Brooke's eyes on her.

 

“Well!” Jeremy eventually said, breaking the silences plaguing the room. “Why don't you two go talk in the closet, huh?”

 

So both girls hauled themselves up, and entered the closet, shutting the door behind them, and the Squip Squad blew up talking.

 

Eventually, the girls came back out holding hands, and faces bright pink and red, almost hilarious. A click was heard, and they turned to see Jenna giving a bright, dazzling smile, and a thumbs up to the girls, before sending out the picture, at which point she was content.

 

Brooke and Christine giggled, as did the others. They were happy.

 

Christine first learned the stories at age 7. She didn’t fully comprehend them and figure out how they applied in her own life until age 11. It was... Frightening, to say the least.

But now, at age 18, some things seemed a little less scary.

**Author's Note:**

> God idk everything got jumbled and I kept making soulmate lore confusing I don't care 
> 
> My tumblr is @transbrookelohst


End file.
